“Alexander the coppersmith did me much harm. May the Lord repay him according to his works. You also must beware of him, for he has greatly resisted our words.” ~ 2 Timothy 4:14-15
Somewhere along the way in my decades of pastoring I embraced an unwritten code or unspoken rule that if I became the target of illegitimate criticism, mischaracterizations, lies, or slander, that the expectation would be that I would keep my mouth shut about that scurrilous person disseminating such things and simply endure the slopping of my character. I’m not sure what class that was in seminary which taught the principle, but I know numbers of other pastors have embraced that unspoken rule as well. When you are attacked, so the rule states, pray about it, smile, speak well of the person slandering you, and let the Lord shake it all out. Just act like it isn’t happening. Rise above the reproach. It doesn’t matter if people who look to you for spiritual guidance and help are only hearing one side of the story (theirs), you must not dignify the attack with any response.
Hmmm…
Apparently Paul missed that class in his training…
Let me say out of the chute, that the Bible is clear of the folly of engaging the fool. It is equally true that our Savior patiently endured false accusations and lies, yet opened not His mouth. And we are to endure certain persecutions for “righteousness sake”, not to mention the old, colloquial saying that one should never get down in the mud with a pig because all that happens is you get yourself muddy and the pig likes it. Yet, Paul memorialized for eternity (actually the Holy Spirit) the name of Alexander as one who illegitimately harmed him and the work of the ministry. Paul took it a step further, he “marked” him to Timothy and the Ephesian Church as one to “beware”. What could Alexander have done to have merited such an apostolic rebuke?
Honestly, there is a lot of conjecture and speculation surrounding Alexander’s acts of opposition. It appears as if he may have been a Christian who eventually (for reasons unknown) became an isolated renegade. Can we speculate without twisting the texts referencing Alexander concerning his belligerent mission against Paul? I think so. Why do most people turn on their leaders? These are usually the culprits: offense, unmet need, unfulfilled expectation, disappointment, correction, being told “no” or “to wait”. Centuries change but human beings in their reactions rarely do. And to whatever perceived depth of offense Alexander held, it caused him to follow Paul, even after he left town, to do as much damage to him and the ministry as possible. I wonder if Alexander had known that his antics would be forever memorialized eternally in Scripture if he would have been so eager to harm Paul and the ministry? My guess is it wouldn’t have mattered, because it wouldn’t have been believed. Most rebels, fools and mockers cannot see beyond their dysfunction. Alexander took his attack show on the road because he simply wasn’t going to let it go. It is also apparent that Paul attempted to have a conversation with Alexander, but to no avail. The “harm” (literally “evil” in the Greek) continued.
Does Paul simply smile and speak a blessing over Alexander?
Did Paul simply “act” like it never happened?
Hardly…
He basically says to Timothy, the Ephesian Church, and all those with whom he has influence…
This guy has problems…beware.
I have written before about the blessing and curse of the Internet. This amazing piece of technology can be used to preach the Gospel from one end of the earth to the other. It can also be used by the Alexander’s of the world to disseminate harmful (and often times false) stories. One of the jokes my wife and I tell each other is that you will know when you have really made it into a significant place in ministry when a website, social media venue or blog is created for the sole purpose of your destruction. Honestly, the sniping, the unsubstantiated innuendo, the gossip, the slander, the libel, which pops up on my newsfeed is disappointing. I’m no one nearly as important as some who get this constantly, but my wife and I have been targets on the Internet from a few that sought to do us harm.
The question arises, what is one to do?
Do you simply let it go?
Or, is it appropriate to respond?
The age of social media has made this a tricky question in some ways. When I started pastoring in 1984, the only way people communicated was by mail, phone, or face to face. Even the phone was anchored to your house, so there was no cellular possibility as you drove around in your car. Gossip, innuendo, fabrications, and slander were pretty much isolated to one person at a time through limited communication possibilities. If the fabrication/mischaracterization got back to you it could generally be solved by a conversation with the person defiled by the report. In those days it rarely was addressed in another forum because false reports didn’t get the traction through those communication means. Today, one person can leave your church through offense and almost immediately it can be posted through Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, their personal blog site, and disseminated to hundreds and ultimately shared beyond that. That’s pretty powerful. That can be incredibly harmful. Especially when the report could be: Innuendo, half the story, or outright falsehood. As that begins to reach hundreds (thousands) instantly, how is one to respond to that?
A couple things need to be said upfront:
A Christian needs to attempt to be biblical even in an Internet age.
I understand that practicing Biblical precepts of confrontation and reconciliation in an age of social media anonymity and outrage is challenging. But integrity demands a good faith attempt. You cannot be offended and then go straight to Twitter. Even for the one under attack, you cannot simply pull out the keyboard and go to war without the attempt at practicing precept.
A Christian needs to be integral in using social media to “air” concerns.
If you are posting only a part of a story or simply what makes you look best, that is not integrity with regards to relationship. A partial truth can still be considered a lie. Innuendo or speculation can constitute defrauding. Dropping pithy memes on Facebook to passively jab somebody is immature. If you have a beef, contact that person and attempt to reconcile it or at least understand it. A keyboard has become a dangerous weapon in many people’s hands in recent years.
So, with that said, if someone is deliberately trying to harm you through false accusation, lies, mischaracterizations and the like, what can you do?
Realize you have a right to respond.
I will admit that responding to every gnat buzzing around your life and ministry will be a waste of time. Pastors (any person with visibility) get criticized and it’s part of the terrain of the ministry. So, please don’t take this blog as a license to go after all comers. That being said, some critiques have the ability to do great harm. As a minister of the Gospel, my reputation and character have an important place with regards to the ministry. My credibility often times hinges on my integrity. When these things are questioned (and they will be) it is important that people who look to you have the entire story. Your ability to raise money and maintain confidence with people concerning your counsel is directly related to their confidence. Some attacks rise to the level that these important qualities be defended.
Years ago, I was unfortunately involved in what would become a church split. It was the typical old guard v. new pastor changing too many traditions and vision. There are always lots of dynamics and issues in these moments but it got ugly. Initially I decided to just keep my mouth shut and ride out the storm figuring those who knew me would easily recognize the truth from the lies which were being spread. I was going to let God defend me (and He did on numerous fronts). There was, however, a lie spreading that I had embezzled money in order to finance the church which was birthed off this unfortunate moment. This accusation, false to the core, had to be addressed. This accusation, if left hanging, had the ability to undermine all financial credibility now and in the future with regards to my ministry and the church. (I will finish this story momentarily)
Some accusations simply cannot be left to the imagination of the hearers. The Bible clearly teaches there is a right to hear both sides of an accusation (Deuteronomy 1:17; Proverbs 18:17). Some have said, “But Jesus kept His mouth shut”. Yes He did, and I would be sensitive to when and what issue your mouth needs to be open. However, Jesus was also fulfilling Old Testament prophecy by that act too. He was (and is) the Redeemer. I am not. So, I honor and revere what He did, but I seek Him and weigh the moment as to what Scriptural precept applies in my attack.
Reach out privately to the attacker.
I will admit, this one is hard. The initial inclination is politically driven rather than precept driven. We “feel” like a public hit demands an instant public response. It may indeed need that but not before you reach out privately. In the false accusation concerning embezzlement cited above (and other attacks since), I reached out to the accuser to address the issues. In the embezzlement case, the story was being fueled by numerous women through email. I had no proof that any of the main leaders were actually involved with the falsehood, but I contacted one through our attorney and expressed my concern. They were reminded of libel and slander laws which protect innocent parties from these kinds of accusations, especially if the accusation effected the ability of the aggrieved party to make a living. There was a reminder that if these accusations could be traced back to any leaders, there would be massive problems. Lo and behold…the rumors ceased.
Gratefully, this was all able to be addressed behind the scenes and not bring a greater reproach to the Body of Christ. It would be nice that all incidents could be resolved that way. Unfortunately, in our social media climate of being trigger happy on keyboards, private conversations are at times responded to immediately on Facebook with a meme. This makes reconciliation impossible.
Respond publicly with Christian decorum.
Paul did exactly that. He named the name. He didn’t have to say much, but he said enough for those who respected his influence to get the point. Beware, Alexander isn’t who you think he is. Paul would affirm this principle in Romans 16:17, to “…mark those who cause division and offenses, contrary to the doctrine you learned, and avoid them.”
Now let me be clear, your responses need to be restrained, accurate and on point. I would suggest you might even let a couple of trusted friends read the response before posting. An act of hostility or the flesh towards you is not a license to respond in kind.
Interestingly, Alexander was not the only person Paul singles out by name. Hymenaeus and Philetus (2 Timothy 2:17) were two others that Paul warns Timothy to beware. In fact, I have become convinced that these verses, along with those verse affirming people by name, were left to us as a record to understand the principle of endorsement. We do not practice this much in America due to our corporate model of church life, but biblically, people were received or rejected based on endorsement. Perhaps we need to restore such things, although I am sure as biblical as it is it will be greatly misunderstood.
In this relatively new era of the Internet and social media, Pastors need to think through how Alexander’s need to be dealt with. There are entire blog sites set up for the sole purpose of “discerning” ministries and pastors. (I have always wondered who discerns the discerners?) I have watched several blog sites use their forum as personal (supposedly) therapeutic journals to air all their “feelings” (more accurately defined as indictments) towards people, churches and ministries with no critical analysis or response from those who are the focus of their self-therapy. It is indeed a strange new world.
My default support in this age is towards the pastors and Christian leaders who are actually sitting in the captain’s chair giving leadership in ministry despite the second guessing of the critics. If you are a pastor reading this blog I want you to know, that you have not been relegated to being a “doormat” for every social media crank to wipe their “feelings” on. You are not the punching bag for disappointed bloggers. Perhaps the time has come after seeking the Lord for specific strategic responses in specific cases to consider doing what Paul did. Name the name and simply tell everyone to…BEWARE.
It probably won’t stop Alexander. But it might help those who read your letter.
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